Your subscription to “Caring Too Much” has been renewed.

 

Dear Human,

Bad news.

Your Subscription to Caring Too Much™ just auto-renewed for another month.

You are now enrolled in the Premium Plan, which includes:

·         Overthinking things that weren’t even directed at you

·         Replying “No worries!” when, in fact, there are worries

·         Emotional customer service available 24/7

·         Free access to Guilt, Anxiety, and Second Guessing (deluxe edition)

I tried to cancel it for you, but you keep clicking “Accept All Cookies” in real life.

Anyway.

This email is about I DON’T CARE.

Not the rude version. The healthy version.

The version cats have mastered since the beginning of time (or at least since the invention of sofas).

A Cat’s Guide to Not Paying the Attention Tax

Humans spend attention like it’s fake money.

They donate it to:

·         people who drain them

·         messages that don’t deserve replies

·         strangers online

·         group chats with 127 unread messages and zero purpose

·         imaginary arguments in the shower

Cats would never.

Cats treat attention like a luxury item.

A cat will spend attention on:

·         food

·         safety

·         warmth

·         one dramatic sprint at 3:00 AM

·         watching you walk around for no reason (highly entertaining)

A cat will NOT spend attention on:

·         guilt

·         vague hints

·         emotional bait

·         proving a point

·         “can we talk” with no context

This is why cats look calm. They are not calm. They are selective.

The Three-Second Refund Policy

Before reacting, try this:

1.       Pause.

2.       Blink twice (optional, but recommended).

3.       Ask: “Is there a real reason I need to care?”

If the answer is no, you may proceed with:

·         not replying

·         not explaining

·         not apologising

·         not carrying it into tomorrow

Congratulations. You have just issued yourself an attention refund.

Important Clarification

“I don’t care” does NOT mean:

·         “I don’t have feelings”

·         “I’m a villain”

·         “I’m above everything”

It means:

·         “I care wisely.”

·         “I don’t do emotional overtime.”

·         “I’m not running a helpdesk in my head.”

People often call boundaries “cold” because they benefit from you being warm and leaking energy everywhere.

Cats are not cold. Cats are precise.

Closing Statement from Catkind

If it costs your peace, it’s too expensive.

If it’s loud but meaningless, it’s a scam.

If it wants your reaction, it should at least pay rent.

Now please excuse me. I have to go stare at a wall like it owes me money.

Warmly (not emotionally),

— A cat

P.S. Caring is energy. Energy is precious. Not everything deserves a reaction. Care wisely, not widely.